This is Marriage

I'm sharing this anonymously because I don't know the military wife who posted this personally, but her story really spoke to me.

"So I have been trying not to post anything very personal about my relationship because I've been realizing the harm it does, but THIS I have to share.  So, Valentine's Day was [our] first anniversary.  My dad was nice enough to take the baby all day and all night so we could be alone.  Unfortunately, we fought all day.  Maybe two hours the whole day we were okay, but it even got so bad he went to sleep on the couch -- and I didn't even ask him.   

One of the things we fought a lot about [was that] he didn't get me anything.  Not even a card.  We've been fighting every day since -- all day -- and then last night we finally both broke down. I was a disaster and when I woke up this morning I walked into the dining room to find a vacuum (I've been wanting one for a while), several cards, two movies (because we didn't get to watch one due to fighting) and beautiful flowers.  

One of the cards said: 'I love you [...] I wish I could just do it right the first time.  So, here is to the beginning to the second 1st Anniversary.  I hope it's more of what you were expecting than what I did the first time.  So, here's to doing it right the first time.' 

And he promised to take me out whenever we're lucky enough to get a babysitter when he's off. 

This is marriage, not being perfect.  Hell, it can be absolutely horrible, but being able to talk it out and you both never stop trying or giving up on each other NO MATTER how bad it gets.  I love you [...].  Thank you for not giving up on me through this past year."

Marriage isn't perfect.  It isn't supposed to be.  That movie you went to see on Valentine's Day that made you question your marriage/relationship because your man isn't like the actor in the movie...yeah, that movie was horseshit.  Romance is a fallacy and those movies aren't indicative of what real love is.

Real love is fighting about stupid things and saying things you don't mean.  Real love is screwing up something really important and saying "I'm sorry."  Real love is cuddling and watching her favorite TV series or his favorite guy that eats bugs on the History channel.  Real love is falling asleep on the couch on your wedding night as he takes the bobby pins out of your hair.  Real love is what I have with Ryan and I wouldn't trade what we have for anything in this world.